The Sadist & The Masochist
by natsu-no-sora
Summary: Haruhi messed up a drunken Kyouya, playing dirty jokes on him while he was totally knocked out. The question is: is she ready to take the consequence from our shadow king?


**©Bisco Hatori**

I do not own anything. Support the mangaka by buying her works.

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**Cruel Joke**

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'Haruhi,' Kyouya called for the tenth time. His voice sounded like a weird mix of frustration, anger & begging.

'I'm telling you, Ootori Kyouya, I don't know!' I sighed exasperatedly.

It was a fine Sunday morning. Since it was the only day of the week that we could rest, we slept until 10am. Now, we were facing each other as we had our warm coffee in the kitchen.

'Come on, Haruhi, spit it out!' He almost growled that made me bit my lip to keep me from laughing.

'I don't know! How many times do you want to hear it until you're satisfied?' I feigned my anger for the sake of my cruel joke.

He stared at me with those calculating eyes of his. Then sighed in frustration.

'I know you know what happened,' he accused.

I straightened my posture on the dining chair, leaned forward to him & tried very hard to look at him in the eyes.

'Look Kyouya,' I said rather importantly, though I was keeping myself from bursting into laughter at his expression.

'I don't have the faintest idea what happened last night. We're drunk. We both woke up, naked-' he winced, '-and that's it.' I said every word with clarity to burn it in his brain.

I watched his face scrunched up. So cute! I wanted to pinch his cheeks. He hated not knowing anything.

'But you said...' his voice faded out as he fumbled with reasonable reason.

'What?' I prompted.

'You said...you don't want to-I mean, you said you're not-' he was like choking the words out his throat. At that moment, I was ready to roll on the floor laughing.

The great Ootori Kyouya was stuttering! This was so epic. I should have put a hidden camera here somewhere to record this moment.

'I know what I said, Kyouya. But it's already done, we can't do anything about it now,' I said quietly. I molded my face into a puppy.

He buried his face in his palm. He looked so disappointed & embarrassed. Now, I felt guilty. But I kept my face straight.

He exhaled sharply & looked me in the eyes, 'Haruhi...honey, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know what I was doing, I'm sorry. I know you're not ready to do _that_ yet. But-'

I couldn't contain my laughter now, I curled up as my stomach began to ache.

'K-Kyouya...you should see your face in the mirror!' I teased. But he didn't even flinch as he watched me die from laughing. He gaped at me with overly widened eyes. The events from last night tickled me again...

**12 hours ago**

Kyouya exhaled heavily as he plopped on the couch. I went to sit beside him & gave him a kiss.

'How's work?' I asked casually. I leaned my head on his shoulder & he did the same on top my head.

'Busy as usual,' he paused as if thinking. He stood abruptly & took me by the hand.

'Let's drink,' he tugged my hand.

Well, this isn't new to me since it was Friday night. We usually have dinner dates or quiet walk in the park or joyriding around the city in his Porsche to enjoy the start of weekend.

He pulled me up from the couch & led me to our little bar beside the kitchen.

And that was how it started.

After so many years with Tamaki, some of his leaking idioticness has gotten to us so we decided to play a very stupid game: Truth-or-dare. But Kyouya, switching to his shadow king mode, he decided to twist the game into dare-or-dare with only one dare to do: drink a shot of brandy.

We gulped down 3 bottles & Kyouya couldn't lift a finger anymore. I was quite drunk too but my alcohol tolerance is way higher than him.

A really stupid idea played in my intoxicated mind. I leaned forward to Kyouya seductively & brushed my nose to his. The next thing I knew, he was kissing me fiercely; I smirked. We made a very impressing make-out session in the kitchen. I didn't how we managed to climbed up the stairs to our bedroom but we actually made it on our bed.

A few more minutes & we broke our heated kisses. Kyouya was practically out of it. He didn't know what he was doing as he patched my neck with bite marks & hickey. Later on, before I, myself could get carried away, he fell asleep on top me, cutting my air passage in the process.

'Urgh,' I strained my weakened arms to push him off me but he wouldn't budge. Seriously! I kicked him & he fell on the floor. I stifled a laugh when he didn't even flinch.

'Kyouya, wake up! You're going to catch colds if you sleep there. Hey!' I shook him hard but he just mumbled incoherently.

'Men!' I grumbled. I struggled under his weight as I hauled him on the bed. Breathing hard, I finally managed to throw him on the freaking bed. I glared at his slightly snoring figure. Oh, you are so going to regret this, shadow king!

With a naughty grin on my face, I started taking off his clothes. And I mean every clothes that was covering his body.

Okay, so don't get me wrong. I don't have a perverted plan in my mind to have a sex with my knocked out husband. I just like to tease him from time to time.

He wanted me to finish my studies first before planning the making of an Ootori heir & I absolutely agreed. So having a good love-making session is out of the question.

Before crawling to bed, I stripped away my own clothes too & with a snicker, I lay beside him. I pulled the comforter over & snuggled to him. I heard him sighed. He draped his arm around my waist & pulled me closer to his glorious (& naked) body.

I felt myself drift off as the alcohol consumed my consciousness.

And the morning came.

'K-Kyouya! Stop pulling that kind of face, you're killing me!' I stuttered while clutching my aching stomach. I laughed like there's no tomorrow.

He opened his mouth as if to speak then he snapped it close again.

I giggled & sat on his lap.

'Cruel joke,' I whispered & bit his ear. I started giggling again. But he remained frozen with a stunned face.

'Hey!' I shook him, afraid that he might be having aneurysm.

He snapped his eyes at me, oh & with his famous shadow king's glare, I might add. I gulped as he snaked his arms around my torso in an iron grip.

'You. Are. So. Dead.' He stated so coldly I shivered. He leaned closer to me, like a snake about to strike.

'Whoa! Hold up, dude!' I put my palms on his chest & tried to get away from him. No use.

He pushed me up on the table roughly, knocking off the cups & sent it crashing on the floor.

'Kyou-' I was about to protest but he mercilessly devoured my lips. His hand cupped the back of my head & gripped my hair forcefully. His other hand securely wrapped around my waist like metal bandage. His tongue explored my mouth in a not-so-gentle way. I could feel his teeth ripping through my soft lips.

I moaned as my air became dangerously low, my head started to swam due to lack of oxygen. I struggled to push him away.

'I'm not done yet,' he whispered seductively when pulled away (a few centimeters from my face, for that matter) to let me breathe.

'O-okay,' I panted. 'You...you win, I'm s-sorry.'

'Nope,' he smirked. 'I'm not taking in any apologies. You deserve severe punishment for that funny joke you pulled on the shadow king, Haruhi.'

Uh-oh.

He pulled me again for another mind-blowing kiss. But this time, it was almost gentle, more passionate & burning with lust. My skin tingled where he trailed his slender fingers. Shit, my heart was trying to get out of chest!

A chill went down my spine & goosebumps covered my arm. That was when I realized my blouse was lying on the kitchen floor, leaving me half-naked! Then I felt Kyouya's sinful hands fumbling on the hook of my bra.

'Kyouya...' I whimpered.

He smirked devilishly at me before trailing bites on my neck.

Oh God. I am so doomed. I shut my eyes as I learned my lesson not to play fire with a drunken shadow king.

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**Finished: 10 June 2012**

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Minna, natsu_no_sora desu, yoroshiku ne! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

My 1st one-shot with KyoHaru pairing. A massive OOCness, right? Hehehe, I hope you like it!

Ja, let's meet again somewhere :)


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